


We Accidentally Adopted a 30yo Man For $10.54 at Walmart Supercenter

by Limonism, xX_B4LLSLAPP3R420_Xx



Category: Operation: RECOVERY
Genre: Accidental Baby Acquisition, Adopted Children, Adoption, Adult baby, Kindergarten, Man Baby, Multi, Parenthood
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-26
Packaged: 2021-03-08 03:54:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26629351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Limonism/pseuds/Limonism, https://archiveofourown.org/users/xX_B4LLSLAPP3R420_Xx/pseuds/xX_B4LLSLAPP3R420_Xx
Summary: im so sorry runnie haha no im not
Relationships: Aaron Plumm/Roy Tegerof
Kudos: 5





	1. New Ball... or is it?

**Author's Note:**

> im so sorry runnie haha no im not

POV: roy and aaron r at Walmart Supercenter

Roy and Aaron in the Walmart Supercenter. Yes, shopping. Yea. What are they shopping for?? They are shopping for food. Shopping for food. Food. Yes.  
They pass the toys section.  
“Hey Aaron let’s look at balls.” Roy states  
“Why?” Aaron asks.  
“I want a ball.” He responds.  
“Oh ok.” He nods.  
They go to the ball basket. For balls, of course. Roy looks through the balls as Aaron stares at his no-ass. Dam that bunch of nothing kinda fine doe.. chile ANYWAY…. Roy picks out a.. Very oddly shaped ball.  
“Aaron, I want this one. I’m gonna buy it.” He states, holding it up happily. Aaron nods at him and lets him put it in the cart. Ok they got all they needed. Time to go home. Home time. Huzzah.

Wow they check out and go home.

They unload the groceries. Roy is too excited about this weird fucking ball. He’s bouncing it everywhere. He’s having the time of his life. Aarons watching him. He wishes Roy loved him that much. Ok it’s late now. Time for eat and sleep. They do that. Yes. Now they’re off to bed. Roy puts his beloved new ball friend in a closet, and then proceeds to go to sleep. Wow.

POV: ball. Yes you heard me. ball.

ball is man. Man is ball. It’s miles. Miles is ball. he’s... deviously hungry. kimtchen time he has found a stash of…. many, many, many, many- ok well u get it.. many peanut butter jars. peenut bath time. Ok he’s in the peanut bath. it ‘s morning time. Aaron has awoken, so has roy. Miles must revert back to ball form. Fuck. aaron has found the peanut bath. He just wants to piss. He notes the ball. god fucking dammit roy.  
“Roy what the Fuck did you do last night.” Aaron confronts roy, taking him to the peanut bath.  
“You think I did that?!?!?!” Roy asks, then continues,”I don’t know it seems to me you decided to lather my new ball in peanut butter!!” He huffs, crossing his arms.  
Aaron gasps in offence,”Excuse YOU. I would NEVER do that to your stupid ball, nor would i take the time to even do all of this! Why the hell would I even fill the tub with peanut butter!?!” He argues. They continue arguing back and forth before they just. end up cleaning it together.  
Ok they cleaned it all up.. finally. They then clean themselves off, put the ball back up, and decide to go out. Ok time to stop being a ball now, miles is comin outta hiding, baby. He was actually hungry this time, and decided to look thru the fridge and he found some.... leftover chimcken from last night. THAT'LL DO!!!!! he heats up the chikin, then sits down to eat it. suddenly, he has to go to the bathroom, dam. lol anywya he gets up to go to the bathroom.. but.. but then HE HEARS A NOISE. he panics oh no oh god.. he stays quiet. nothing else. 'okay whew im alright' he thinks to himself. THEN HE HEARS THE DOOR OPEN... well fuck.. i guess this is it.


	2. Son..

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI AGAIN WELCOME BACK TO HELL

Well fuck... this is it. 

Roy and Aaron walk in the door and almost immediately notice Miles, in deflated ball suit, who's stopped dead in his tracks on his way to the bathroom. They stare at each other... for a good while. After that good goody great amazing outstanding lovely gorgeous while, Roy notes the ball suit he is wearing.. and immediately breaks down into tears..  
"IS THAT MY BAAALLL?!??!?!?!" He cries in question.  
Miles eyes dart around the house as if he was looking for a way to explain that he *is* his ball.  
"I- um I-...... I am your ball." He states, seemingly unbothered. He's very bothered.  
"HHHH?????" Roy responds, face becoming scrunched from confusion thru his tears.  
Miles sighs, eyes once again darting around, trying to find a logical explanation to how he's their ball. He can't. Help. "Uh..... Well.. you see this suit I'm wearing? It's your ball, right? I, ME, I AM YOUR BALL. YOU BOUGHT A HUMAN BEING IN A BALL SUIT DISGUISED AS A BALL." He explains to the best of his abilities.  
Roy cries harder,"I BOUGHT A HUMAN BEING?1?! I JUST WANTED A SWAG BALL.......!!!" He sobs.  
Aaron puts a hand on Roy's shoulder, as if to comfort him. Then, he calmly states,"Roy... we just bought a human. We basically just adopted him. He is our son now, Roy. We must care for him, for we are parents now."  
Roy gasps softly, putting his hands over his mouth,"Aaron.... are you... are you sure we're ready to be parents..?" He whimpers to him quietly.  
Aaron nods,"He is ours now." He responds.  
Miles looks at them, in pure disbelief. HE'S THEIR CHILD NOW????? bruh  
Roy, looking ready to cry again, runs over and hugs Miles. Now, sobbing again,"Welcome home son!!" He exclaims thru his sobs.  
Miles is. So Fucking Confused but just... hugs his.. new dad back???????????? Aaron then comes in from behind and also hugs Miles. This is so awkward for poor Miles. Then, he's suddenly lifted by Roy.  
"Well then! I gwuess shomebowdy feewls shtinky aftew being in dat bawwl shuit fowr sho long... wets get you into a bath, hmmm?" Roy suggests, holding him like a baby, looking him in the eye. Then he looks at Aaron,"Will you fill the tub for me please?"  
Aaron nods with a smile, starting off towards their bathroom. Roy then pulls Miles over his shoulder, and walks to the kitchen to grab a pair of scissors... to cut the ball off!  
"Awwight Miwey! I'm gunna cut the bawwl off of you! Don't worry, I won't huwt you!" He tells, setting Miles on the counter, holding him by the shoulder. Miles wants to cry, what The Fuck did he get himself into. As Roy's cutting away at the ball on his sons' body, Miles is just... silently looking away, ashamed of himself, and embarrassed. Roy looks at him, smiling,"My baby boye is doing sho gooooodd!! Hewre's a trweat.." and he pulled a lolli from his pocket, and handed it to Miles. He looked at Roy, then the lolli, and hesitantly took it, unwrapped it, and put it in his mouth.  
Soon, Roy had finished cutting the ball off of Miles, and he was nakey (lol nankey thats a funy word). Then Aaron called from the bathroom, it's bathtime! Roy, once again, picks up Miles, and carries him to the bathroom.  
Aaaaaand he's... in the bathtub.... being washed by Aaron and Roy. Having 4 hands on his body, cleaning him, felt so... surreal, and uncomfortable.  
"Having a child is already so fun, Aaron! But I think he's uncircumcised.." He states, looking over at his spouse as he washes Miles' hair.  
"Dear, it's not about what's down below, it's about what's here, and here, and how we raise him." He replies, pointing to Miles' head then where his heart is.  
Roy nods,"Yea... I suppose. We'll still love you, even if you are uncircumcised!" He says, pinching Miles cheek. Miles is nearly red with embarrassment, this is torture on a whole nother level.  
Okay bathtime over I can't do this anymore. 

He's out of the bath and dressed in some of Roys oversized clothes until they get him some clothes. He is not ready for that adventure. For now he's lying in Roy and Aaron's bed.... because they told him to take a nap. Fun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> iimmcmn c,m bnd sd,sf b d c v b imm crying g h i cannt do this gofgghfgf GOD


	3. Shopping!!! And school...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i speak like jfk from clone high

Miles was napping like a good boy. Well his nap was good until it was (nicely) interrupted by one  
of his new fathers, Aaron, to be specific.  
Aaron shook him lightly,"Hey, bubba, wakey wakey.." He mumbled softly. Miles replied with a  
small grumble. He shook him a little harder,"C'mon, li'l man, you gotta wake up." He said, a little  
louder this time.  
Miles shuffled around a bit before finally opening his eyes,"Whaaaa...", he groaned, sitting up.  
Aaron hugged him,"Good evening, my boy! Let's get up, we're gonna head to the store." He  
exclaimed, pulling him out of his bed. Miles just responded with a half-asleep, inaudible grumble,  
as he was pulled.  
Soon he was fully awake, dressed in some of Aaron's clothes that fit much better than Roy's  
oversized shirts. He came out of the closet , and looked at both of his dads waiting for him, both  
with their hands over their mouths. Miles sighed in annoyance.  
Roy was first to speak,"Look at our little boy... Getting dressed all on his own already!" He.... he  
looked like he was about to cry.  
"Ooh.. Look at you! You're such a big boy, getting dressed all on your own!" Aaron chimed with a  
clap. Miles just forced a smile and nodded.  
Then Miles was yet again lifted by Roy, who then carried him to their car, sat him in the backseat  
and buckled him in. Then Roy hopped in the driver's seat as Aaron got in the passenger's seat.  
And vroom, they were off... to t̶h̶e̶a̶d̶o̶p̶tio̶n̶c̶e̶n̶te̶r̶ Walmart. Soon, they were at Walmart, and  
Miles was being pulled out of the car by Roy, who then put him in a cart, and pushed him in,  
Aaron following next to them. Once they were in, Miles say they were headed straight for the kids  
clothing section. 𝘖𝘩. 𝘖𝘩 𝘕𝘰. He thought to himself. As soon as they were over there, they were  
picking clothes out putting them over him to see if they'd fit. Not-so-surprisingly, a LOT didn't fit, so  
they grabbed the largest sizes they could find of anything. Luckily, for Aaron and Roy, those fit.  
Mostly. Next, pajamas! Roy and Aaron picked out a few cute pajamas, and even picked out a cute dino onesie! They enjoyed this so much! Of course Miles didn't, he Hated this. Well, now that that's over, let's get more stuff! Like toys, colouring books, and other children's things that are not meant for a 30 year old man.  
Roy suddenly runs off for a moment. Then, comes back with..... a stroller. Miles can feel his brain dying.  
"Hey, Aaron, whaddya think about this?" Roy asks.  
Aaron studies the stroller for a moment. "Hm.. Do you think he'll fit?" He responds.  
Roy shrugs,"I don't know. Let's see!" He then takes Miles out of the cart and tries to put him in the stroller. Surprisingly, it worked.... if he pulled his legs up to his chest.  
"Well.. whaddya think now?" Roy asks again.  
Aaron shakes his head,"I think that's too uncomfortable for him." He replies.  
Roy nods in agreement,"Yea, alright I'll put it back." And put Miles back in the cart and was back off once again. Before Roy could get back, Aaron strolled over to the toys section with Miles. He looks around at the toys for a moment, then grabs a few transformer toys along with hot wheels and tosses them in the cart. Then, Aaron runs off to find something else, and Roy came in from behind.  
"Ah! There's my boy! Where's your other daddy?" He asks, looking down at Miles. He just... points in the direction Aaron went. Roy nods,"Oohh, I see! Well, I just grabbed some food for you, cowboy." And..... and it was all.. baby food. Miles could feel his souls' distorted screaming. Then, Aaron came back around the corner with a few colouring books and some other books, putting them in the cart. Poor Miles was just covered in things they're buying for him... that shouldn't be for a man his age.  
"Well, this should be it for now! Let's check out, dear." Aaron suggested.  
"Alright then, let's go." He responded, starting off with the cart. They checked out, loaded the car with Miles, got in, and went home.  
Once they were home, they unloaded the car and Roy carried Miles inside and sat him down at their kitchen table. Miles just laid his head on the table and watched Roy cook dinner. Then, he noticed Aaron come up to him and sit next to him. In his hands he held a spoon, and a can of baby food. Miles was not ready for this, but I guess he had to. I mean, free food! I guess.  
"Open wide." Aaron comanded. Miles just looked at the.. goop on the spoon. Oh Aaron, you stupid idiot. That's not how you feed a baby! Then, he caught on.  
"Oh, right! Here comes the airplane!" And he made that stupid airplane noise, but Miles actually ate it this time! Honestly, it wasn't that bad.. must've been carrots or something, because it sure tasted like it.  
By the time Aaron finished feeding Miles, Roy was done cooking. He made mac and cheese with potatoes!!! But... there were only 2 plates. For him and Aaron. Roy set the plates down and began eating as did Aaron. Miles just watched them eat, looking back and forth between them, as if he was begging them for at least a bite. Roy finally looked back at him, then down at his food. He smiled and held up a spoonful of mac and cheese. Miles ate it happily, this tasted much better than the baby food.  
Soon, they all finished, and Roy carried Miles to their bed.. to sleep. I mean of course he wasn't asleep immediately. He just pretended to sleep as he listened to Aaron and Roy talk.  
"Hey, Aaron?" Roy mumbles.  
"Yes, dear?" He replies.  
"I think we should sign Miles up to the local kindergarten!" He states.  
Aarons lets out a small gasp, then nods,"We should! Let's do that tomorrow." He agrees.  
"Okay! Let's go to bed for now.." Roy yawns, getting into bed.  
"Goodnight, honey." Aaron responds, also getting into bed.  
Miles, now sandwiched between his dads, heard all of that. He feels like he just died for the 56th time today. They wouldn't Actually do that, right? They know he's 30 years old, right?? They wouldn't put a 30 year old in with a bunch of ACTUAL children, RIGHT???

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Storytime: i once rode my bike into someone's car bumper and passed out for 5 minutes and i think that's kinda funny


End file.
